


A Dream

by illiterateandbi



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, Friends to Lovers, but Rey is scared, but we love angsty pining!!, compulsive heterosexuality exists in Star Wars?, i wrote this at one am so, im a mess, kissing!, lesbian!rey, this is how i feel whenever i have a crush on a girl, this kinda sucks im so sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-21
Updated: 2020-01-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 16:00:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22346002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/illiterateandbi/pseuds/illiterateandbi
Summary: When Rey starts to avoid you, all you can do is believe the worst: she must have found out about your feelings for her.
Relationships: Rey/Reader
Comments: 7
Kudos: 74





	A Dream

Your eyes were beginning to sting from focusing on the belly of the x-wing for so long. Sighing softly, you fished around in your pocket before pulling out a rag to clean your grease-covered hands. Poe has got to stop being so rough on his ship.

It was dinner time and your stomach growled as you packed up the last of your tool kit. Nothing sounded better than a warm meal and a shower.

As you began making your way to the cafeteria, you spotted the signature buns of a certain Jedi. Feeling your stomach jolt with happiness, you called out to the girl.

“Rey!”

Your shout was pretty loud and caused a few heads to look in your direction, but Rey didn’t seem to notice. After repeating her name a couple more times, embarrassment filled you and you sent an awkward apology smile to the people you just disrupted with your shouts.

She probably didn’t hear you. Or maybe her mind was on more important things. You have found her zoning out more than a few times.

So, you shook it off and managed to get a tray of food to satisfy your hunger. You plopped down at one of the tables and dug in. Skipping lunch in order to squeeze in a few more repairs probably wasn’t a good idea.

Eyeing the crowd of hungry resistance members, you were immediately drawn to the familiar figure sitting down at a table not far from yours. Smiling slightly, you decided to join Rey, seeing as how she usually enjoyed eating with others rather than alone.

“Hey! Busy day?”

Your voice caused Rey to stiffen in her seat as you took the spot across from her. She looked a little worn down, but to you she was still as beautiful as ever.

She never answered your question and her silence was starting to scare you. It wasn’t like her. Usually she’d be chattering about something new she did in training or how much she loved seeing the new wildlife that Ajan Kloss had to offer.

“Is everything alright Rey?”

You gently placed your hand on top of hers. It wasn’t an unusual action, but Rey reacted to it as if you had burned her. She jumped from her seat and before you knew it, she was out of the cafeteria and halfway down the hall.

Some part of your heart ached at her obvious rejection of your presence but you reminded yourself that maybe she was stressed out? Surely she was simply overwhelmed and didn’t want to talk. 

You thought that by tomorrow she’d be willing to tell you what was wrong.

———

Tomorrow came and went. So did the next day. Suddenly you had gone two weeks without hearing a word from your friend. 

Not just that, but she had also taken to avoiding your presence in general. If she saw you in the halls, she’d turn back the way she was coming from. If you entered a room, she found the quickest way to exit.

Each of these moments caused your heart to ache. What had you done? Why was Rey avoiding you like you had the rakghoul plague?

You tried your best to keep a strong face among your colleagues, but once the door shut to your quarters each night, you were a mess. Crying yourself to sleep had become a habit as you tried to think of reasons as to why Rey had turned a cold-shoulder to your friendship.

The reasons you came up with never really made much sense. Most of them were outlandish ideas created by your imagination. That is, until you came to the realization.

Rey had found out about your crush on her.

She had figured out that you had been shoving feelings down for the past two years since you met her. She must’ve known that you thought about playing with her hair and kissing her hand as you held it in your own. 

Rey knew that you were attracted to her and she must be absolutely revolted.

As far as you knew, Rey was about as straight as they come and finding out that your gay best friend has a crush on you must be incredibly uncomfortable. She must be avoiding you to spare your feelings and as a way to reject you quietly.

But how had she found out? Had your stares been lingering longer than they had used to? Had you hugged her one too many times?

Maybe she felt it in the force? Is that even how the force works?

You weren’t quite sure, but whatever you did, you felt absolutely ashamed. It was probably best that you stopped bothering Rey. 

———

It was a struggle to keep yourself from getting upset the next morning. Knowing that Rey was probably repulsed by your feelings was the final nail in the coffin of your dwindling friendship. 

Still, work for the resistance never ceased. You decided to busy yourself on refurbishing old droids in an effort to take your mind off of the brunette girl. 

It sort of worked, until you felt a soft tap on your shoulder. Turning around, you were met with the hazel eyes that you used to find yourself gazing into so frequently.

You thought your mind was hallucinating. Standing right in front of you was a disheveled looking Rey with dark circles painted underneath those eyes. Your mouth fell open in shock from both seeing her and from wondering what had caused her to look so...sad?

Keeping her gaze focused on the concrete floor, she fumbled with a few papers that she was holding. She seemed nervous. What did she think you would do? Jump up and kiss her? Maker, she can’t even stand close to you anymore.

“General needs your signature on these.”

Her accent hit your ears and sent a flood of tears into the bottom of your eyes. You missed hearing her voice. You watched her extended arm as she held the papers in your direction. Hesitantly, you took them, brushing her hand with yours accidentally.

Opening your mouth to speak, you were cut off by her turning around rapidly. The heaviness of your chest settled back over you and you stood up. 

“Rey, wait!” 

To your surprise, she halted in her tracks but didn’t turn around. Her body was quivering slightly and you wondered if you really had scared her that much. The air in the repair workshop was heavier than usual which made a shiver run up your spine.

With the last sliver of dignity that you had, you were able to clear your throat and continue. But you focused your eyes on the floor. Just in case she turned around to look back at you.

“I know you hate me. It’s okay, I do too honestly. But at least let me explain myself. Please...?” 

Seconds of silence passed before you built up the courage to look back in her direction. Maybe she had left super quietly and you didn’t even know. 

Rey slowly turned to face you with a look of guilt mixed with something else that was unrecognizable. “I don’t.”

It was getting progressively harder to keep the desperate tears at bay. You were puzzled. “What do you mean?”

All of your intrusive thoughts made you want to wrap your arms around her and forget any of this dumb feelings bullshit ever happened. You wished that you didn’t screw this up. You just wanted your best friend back.

Your vision was becoming blurry and a few traitorous tears leaked out to leave a wet path on your cheeks. Perfect, you thought, now I’m crying like a child.

At the sight of your tears, Rey’s posture immediately softened. Her lips parted with unspoken words and she had to withhold herself from comforting you. 

The energy that surrounded you was usually so bright and happy, which is what drew Rey to you in the first place. But now her heart felt heavy to feel you being wrapped in darkness and self-hatred.

You really thought she hated you?

“You don’t understand. It’s much more complicated than you think.” Her words were clipped and you wondered if she was also fighting back tears. 

In an attempt to compose yourself, you raggedly wiped your palms down your cheeks and took a step backwards, almost tripping on a nearby tool kit. Rey reached out instinctively to catch you before you were able to steady yourself.

“I get it. Honestly. I know that I messed up!” Your voice sounded distant to your own ears.

Rey shook her head rapidly as she wiped at her own tears. “You did nothing wrong. None of this is your fault. My...feelings aren’t your responsibility, but mine.” Once she heard what she said, she clasped a hand over her mouth.

You were confused. Was she talking about her feelings of discomfort towards your sexuality? “You feelings about me?”

Rey’s cheeks were flushed as she nodded in response. Suddenly you wanted the whole truth about what your friend really thought about you. Even if it hurt, maybe it would help you get over her.

“Tell me.”

Rey was panicking. She hadn’t meant to bring this up to you...ever! She had spent so long packing this away and avoiding mentioning it. But now here your were with your cute little furrowed brows and suddenly she couldn’t help herself.

“What I feel towards you isn’t friendship. I thought it was for a long time but it isn’t.” Rey   
explained as she kept her eyes trained on yours. “I feel drawn towards you. Like no matter where I am or what I’m doing I can’t y’all but want you there with me.”

She took a step forward and continued, “I know that you wouldn’t feel anything similar to what I feel so I thought it would be best to...you know...get rid of my feelings. So I stopped seeing you.”

Your heart was pounding against your chest while you began to grasp what she was trying to say.

“I thought it would work! I did. But all it did was make me miss you. I’m sorry.” Rey looked away towards her boots. “I know it is a lot to ask, but do you think we could still be friends? I promise that I’ll try extra hard to get rid of...this.”

You shook your head and grasped her wrist lightly. “Don’t. Please don’t.” Her skin was soft under your grip and you hoped that your hand wasn’t sweaty.

“I like you Rey. So much. And I thought that you were avoiding me because you found out and were uncomfortable with it. With me.”

Rey’s breath stuttered before she wrapped her arms around your neck in a tight hug. She spoke into the crook of your neck. “Maker, if I’m asleep right now, this is the best dream.”

You giggled before pulling away. Bringing her fingers up to your lips, you planted kissed on them. Her gaze was hot on your face as you looked back up at her.

It was her who initiated your first kiss. She was slightly clumsy, but her hands on both sides of your face were stabilizers for the both of you.

After you broke away, she took a breath before grinning. “I definitely want to do that again.”

You tilted your head back in laughter before kissing her cheek. “We definitely will.”

**Author's Note:**

> whoop! Rey is your girlfriend now! (ugh can you tell how much i want to date her?)


End file.
